To prepare for a fisting session, rings (and wristwatches) should be removed and sharp nails and cuticles trimmed. A nail file or an emery board can be used to remove any remaining roughness. If you can still scratch your nose with a nail, that’s enough to scratch your lover and cause bleeding. Also, be sure to thoroughly wash your hands.
Next, get your lover into a position that’s comfortable and also gives you easy access to her vagina. Some women find being on their hands and knees is best, while others prefer lying on one side with a knee raised so that you can see and feel her vagina easily. If she lies on her back, she may find that stretching out, and tilting her head back creates more room for your hand. With the spine stretched out, all the internal organs move up too, creating more space and less pressure on the vagina.
The next most important thing to relaxation is arousal. When a woman becomes sexually aroused, her vagina relaxes, expands, and lengthens – all very important for accommodating a fist. Spend lots of time doing whatever it takes to turn her on.
Even the wettest vagina can use some extra lubricant during fisting – the more, the better. Some people like KY jelly though others say it dries out too quickly. Astroglide is a water-soluble lubricant which holds up well to continuous use. Use LOTS (and I mean lots) of lubricant. Push it in with your fingers. Get it all over your hand, the back of your hand, and between your fingers. Keep applying it as you go.
Fisting takes time and patience. Start with one finger and WAIT until sufficient room exists for the next finger and so on. Once you have three fingers in, it usually helps to use your thumb to stimulate the clitoris as well. Continue using lots and lots of lubricant. Not only will it make penetration easier, but feeling extremely wet will also increase your lover’s lust.
Once you are able to get four fingers in, you are close, but now you need to take extra time. Stimulate the G-spot and the clitoris at the same time. WAIT until you feel the vagina start to “absorb” your fingers. Then lay your thumb alongside your middle finger, form an wedge shape, and very carefully push without applying force. Twist your hand a little bit until you suddenly and naturally slide in. With very little effort, you will discover the vagina gripping your wrist.
As you push your hand in, she should let her vagina relax. To do this, she can try clenching up and holding the PC muscles tightly, and then, with a big, sighing exhale, release that tension. As she releases and relaxes, your hand will slide farther in. During fisting, it can feel like the vagina is in spasm. This should pass with deep breathing, lubricant, and clitoral stimulation.
Once you get your hand inside, think more of filling her up than of pumping. Start your movements by contracting and expanding your hand to fill her up even more. If she likes that, try moving in and out a bit, but go slowly and gently. An important thing to remember is that with this much penetration, a little motion creates a lot of sensation. Your hand should not make dramatic moves; it may be too intense or suddenly painful.
Experiences of orgasm during fisting differ. Some women find they orgasm violently, while others just feel intense pleasure. Don’t be locked into the idea of your lover having an orgasm during fisting: the sensations are dramatic enough as is. If she does orgasm, once the contractions have subsided, begin a very slow and slight rocking motion in and out with the same degree of twisting motion. This is a very calming and is when a strong emotional connection occurs.
Whatever you do, don’t suddenly pull your hand out. You could hurt her. When it becomes time to remove your hand, reverse the process that you used to get it in. Form your hand back into a wedge shape and gently begin to withdraw, rotating back and forth as necessary. Don’t forget that you can still add more lube. That can help just as much in this phase.
Depending on how tight the fit is, it’s entirely possible to create an airtight seal between your hand and her vaginal opening, which can make removing your hand difficult. If this happens, run a finger from your other hand between your fisting hand and her vaginal lips to gently break the seal.
It’s hard to explain what it feels like to have someone else’s hand inside of you. It’s intense, it’s intimate, and it can be very emotional. Vaginal fisting is a beautiful, sexy, and intimate rush for both the giver and receiver when done with care, awareness, and respect..
My book Lesbian Sex Secrets: How to Have Amazing Sex With Another Woman aims to help bi-curious, bisexual, and lesbian women take their sex lives to another level. To give your lover the best sex she’s ever had, starting tonight, click here!
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