For most women, being spanked, is a turn-on not so much because the sensation of pain as it is in the feeling of helpless submission and vulnerability of being bent over her lover’s lap, the attention being paid to her behind (a primary erogenous zone), the feeling of her lover’s hand warming her buttocks, and the anticipation of sexual pleasures to come. For the woman doing the spanking, the arousing aspect of spanking is the feeling of control and power over her helpless lover, and the excitement of playing with her beautiful bottom, turning it pink and putting her in the mood for some hot, passionate sex.
Both the spanker and the spankee need to want the experience. Talking about whether spanking should be a part of sex play usually works best when it happens before your sex session. That’s not to say that there’s no room for spontaneity, but rather that you’re more likely to be able to ask for what you want and hear your lover’s requests when you’re not turned on. The clearer you are about what you want or what you might like to explore, the more likely it is that you’ll get it.
While giving a spanking, it’s very important that the spanker can take feedback without getting her feelings hurt, and that the spsnkee feels comfortable giving feedback. If you’ve never spanked your lover before, it’s hard to know how hard is too hard or not hard enough for her without asking. Specific questions can serve the dual purpose of being sexy and helpful. Try asking questions such as “Does this feel good?” “Harder?” “Faster?” “Softer?” or “Slower?”
How to Spank Your Lover
Erotic spankings are best accomplished by bare hands on bare bottoms. By spanking only with bare hands, you are able to exercise complete control and modify the process as that bottom blushes and reddens. However, if used with great care, small paddles, the back of a hair brush, wooden spoons, etc can also be used.
For the most intense sexual stimulation, try the old-fashioned over-the-knee (OTK) spanking position. The over-the-knee position practically guarantees clitoral stimulation with every spank! The spankee should be over the spanker’s right knee, assuming she is right-handed.
The best way to begin is to start with hand spanking over clothes, massaging her bottom after every few smacks. Gradually remove the clothes by lifting her dress or lowering her pants, and then pulling down her panties as her bottom gets warmer. When we get spanked, more blood flows to the skin, the muscles relax, and arousal builds. The more relaxed we are, the better spanking will feel.
Focus your spanking on the buttocks. Always avoid impact on or above the tailbone, outside of the buttocks, lower thighs, the back of the knees, and where the bottom ends and the thighs begin. It’s easy to damage the tailbone or kidneys if your spanking gets out of the safe zone. Most people find that it feels best on their butt, anyway.
You may want to include other stimulation such as genital play or light scratching and tickling to heighten sensation. When your lover is warmed up, her skin will probably feel warmer and (depending on her skin tone) may be a bit pink. She may also relax into the sensation or make appreciative sounds. However your lover expresses her pleasure, make sure to linger there before taking it further.
Bringing It to a Climax
There are ways to intensify any spanking without applying more force. Remember that it’s the QUANTITY of spanks that does the trick. A relaxed hand with fingers closed creates a much more pleasant sensation than keeping the hand stiff and rigid. By completely relaxing your wrist (making your hand work like a paddle) you will increase the spanking effect dramatically. Things will get even more intense if you spread your fingers! This reduces the air resistance and leads to individual contact between your fingers and her bottom, both widening the area touched and causing a wonderfully special stinging effect. Alternating hand and finger techniques will bring about a spanking to remember!
Once your lover is warmed up and turned on, feel free to mix it up a bit.Vary the speed. Going from slow, even strokes to short bursts of rapid-fire and unpredictable strokes can keep things from getting boring. Also, vary your intensity. Give her backside a few soft slaps and then surprise it with some hard stingers. You will love her reaction! Depending on the spankee’s tolerance and the spanker’s finesse, spanks can increase in both intensity and speed, until both lovers are pleased and pleasured completely.
Spanking is sexy fun and a huge turn-on for many lesbian couples. A really good spanker can sometimes bring her lover to climax from a sensuous, over-the-knee spanking. No matter what you find arousing about it, erotic spanking between lovers can be a thrilling experience. If you do both decide it’s something you would like to discover together, then take your time and have fun. You will find this can be a very exciting way to connect with each other.
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